Lo-hoOOoo-ser!
As I was sitting at my desk yesterday, innocently tip-tapping away, an envelope landed on my desk. It was shortly followed by another, also addressed to me, both bumpy and clearly containing some mysterious object.
"I do hope it's something exciting and not yet more random tat," I thought, as I tore into the first envelope. Inside, in a delicate little pouch, I found this pin. It's a tingotang (tm). Tingotang (tm), the accompanying press release informed me, is a funky new concept for single people everywhere. If you are single and looking for love, fun and new friends in 2007, it could be the perfect Christmas gift.
So. A PR company trying to encourage me to push their product has sent me a badge that I can wear so everyone who looks at me will know in an instant that I am single. Just a glance at my lapel (or phone small phone charm or larger charm that can be attached to a belt or jewellery) will inform them that I sleep alone, eat meals for (l)one(rs), have nobody to call at the end of the day and spend my Sunday mornings hungover, watching the Hollyoaks omnibus with the curtains closed rather than having smug couple sex on the Sunday papers.
Why stop at a tingotang (tm)? How about buying a big, black marker pen and inscribing the word LOSER on my forehead? Or why not stick a sign to my back that says NOBODY LOVES ME. A SPINSTER t-shirt might be nice?
And they sent me TWO!
Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick. It does say at the end of the press release: "after all, being single can be more than satisfying!". Is it a slag pin? A quick and easy way of figuring out who's up for it? After all, they do men's accessories too - smart, discreet cufflinks for everyday and evening wear; a stylish and practical keying that you can carry everywhere, and a pin badge.
Is it a sort of hetro version of the old gay hankies thing (look it up)? Does the pin indicate a quicky in the car and the cufflinks/large charm tout for something more kinky? Nothing says "I'm desperate and slutty" like tingotang (tm)!
Anyway, I've pinned it on my coat. Ha ha.
"I do hope it's something exciting and not yet more random tat," I thought, as I tore into the first envelope. Inside, in a delicate little pouch, I found this pin. It's a tingotang (tm). Tingotang (tm), the accompanying press release informed me, is a funky new concept for single people everywhere. If you are single and looking for love, fun and new friends in 2007, it could be the perfect Christmas gift.
So. A PR company trying to encourage me to push their product has sent me a badge that I can wear so everyone who looks at me will know in an instant that I am single. Just a glance at my lapel (or phone small phone charm or larger charm that can be attached to a belt or jewellery) will inform them that I sleep alone, eat meals for (l)one(rs), have nobody to call at the end of the day and spend my Sunday mornings hungover, watching the Hollyoaks omnibus with the curtains closed rather than having smug couple sex on the Sunday papers.
Why stop at a tingotang (tm)? How about buying a big, black marker pen and inscribing the word LOSER on my forehead? Or why not stick a sign to my back that says NOBODY LOVES ME. A SPINSTER t-shirt might be nice?
And they sent me TWO!
Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick. It does say at the end of the press release: "after all, being single can be more than satisfying!". Is it a slag pin? A quick and easy way of figuring out who's up for it? After all, they do men's accessories too - smart, discreet cufflinks for everyday and evening wear; a stylish and practical keying that you can carry everywhere, and a pin badge.
Is it a sort of hetro version of the old gay hankies thing (look it up)? Does the pin indicate a quicky in the car and the cufflinks/large charm tout for something more kinky? Nothing says "I'm desperate and slutty" like tingotang (tm)!
Anyway, I've pinned it on my coat. Ha ha.
posted by Elizabeth at 3:55 PM
2 Comments:
Plus, how many times have wedding bands (the "badge" of married people) avoided someone from going home with someone else? I'm thinking that trinket will work the same way -- by only occasionally making someone not sleeping by themselves.
Plus, don't us bar-frequenting folk already have the skills to pintpoint singles from a full bar counter away? Thanks, but I'd rather wear the scarlet letter by my actions, rather than a tingyting.
The hanky code is way easier to spot in a dark bar/when one is three sheets to the wind.
Them little pins and crap will have the most appalling persons leering at you in the bar and fingering your lapel in the hope of a leg-over. But all the cuties will think it's snot and be too polite (and grossed out) to say anything.
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