Slash, punch, first of the month
Today I learned that March is named after Mars, the Roman God of War.
Before Caeser's time, March was the first month of the year, as it was finally warm enough for all the soldiers to go back to slashing their way across the uncivilised world.
So if there's a chance you've got a bit of Roman in you and you're feeling a little fighty today, don't hold back. It's in yer genes.
The month of April got its name from something a little more groovy - the Roman word aperire, which means to open, as this is the month when trees open their leaves.
May was named after Maia, Goddess of Growth, as this used to be the month when plants really started to shoot up. In modern times, May is the time when fears really start to grow that we will soon be in beachwear, and the masses head the the temples of beauty to stain themselves with brown paste, and rip out body hair to offer up to the Goddess Maia if she will just please please please make us thin for a couple of months.
June comes from Juno - Queen of the Gods. The Romans believed that every man had a spirit that looked after him all his life, called his genius. Some people believed each man had both a good genius and a bad genius. Women didn't have a genius, they had a juno instead. These days, we believe that women are guided by an inner genius, while men's lives are dictated by their inner Jenga.
July used to have another name, but that self-effacing charmer Julius Caesar thought he might name the prettiest month after himself. It was Caeser who decided to reorganise the whole calender and start it in January instead of March, too.
Not to be outshone by his predecessor, Augustus, the next ruler of Rome, hijacked the other sunny month and dedicated it to himself. His full title was Emperor Augustus Bankus Holidus.
September stems from septem, which is Roman for seven, and the bit of Daniella Westbrook's nose that fell out. September is called September as it was the seventh month from March, October was the eighth - octo, November was the ninth - novem, and December is from decem, which means ten. Ancient documents discovered in Rome and later found to be the minutes of the Month Naming Committee meeting suggested that most delegates had either nodded off of gone down the pub at this stage.
January got its name from Janus, God of Doors, as the month opens the year. It also worked as the god had a face on each side of his head so he could look back and forwards, like what we do at the start of the year. I think it's kind of snazzy.
And February comes from februo - to purify, as this was a Roman month of sacrifices and purification. This tradition was later moved back to January, as legions of fat, bloated feasters emerged, blinking, from the vomitorium, reached for the Nicorette patches, wrapped their pale, clammy hands around Carole Vorderman's 30-Day Detox, and pretended to give up booze for a bit.
So now you know!
Happy new year.
Before Caeser's time, March was the first month of the year, as it was finally warm enough for all the soldiers to go back to slashing their way across the uncivilised world.
So if there's a chance you've got a bit of Roman in you and you're feeling a little fighty today, don't hold back. It's in yer genes.
The month of April got its name from something a little more groovy - the Roman word aperire, which means to open, as this is the month when trees open their leaves.
May was named after Maia, Goddess of Growth, as this used to be the month when plants really started to shoot up. In modern times, May is the time when fears really start to grow that we will soon be in beachwear, and the masses head the the temples of beauty to stain themselves with brown paste, and rip out body hair to offer up to the Goddess Maia if she will just please please please make us thin for a couple of months.
June comes from Juno - Queen of the Gods. The Romans believed that every man had a spirit that looked after him all his life, called his genius. Some people believed each man had both a good genius and a bad genius. Women didn't have a genius, they had a juno instead. These days, we believe that women are guided by an inner genius, while men's lives are dictated by their inner Jenga.
July used to have another name, but that self-effacing charmer Julius Caesar thought he might name the prettiest month after himself. It was Caeser who decided to reorganise the whole calender and start it in January instead of March, too.
Not to be outshone by his predecessor, Augustus, the next ruler of Rome, hijacked the other sunny month and dedicated it to himself. His full title was Emperor Augustus Bankus Holidus.
September stems from septem, which is Roman for seven, and the bit of Daniella Westbrook's nose that fell out. September is called September as it was the seventh month from March, October was the eighth - octo, November was the ninth - novem, and December is from decem, which means ten. Ancient documents discovered in Rome and later found to be the minutes of the Month Naming Committee meeting suggested that most delegates had either nodded off of gone down the pub at this stage.
January got its name from Janus, God of Doors, as the month opens the year. It also worked as the god had a face on each side of his head so he could look back and forwards, like what we do at the start of the year. I think it's kind of snazzy.
And February comes from februo - to purify, as this was a Roman month of sacrifices and purification. This tradition was later moved back to January, as legions of fat, bloated feasters emerged, blinking, from the vomitorium, reached for the Nicorette patches, wrapped their pale, clammy hands around Carole Vorderman's 30-Day Detox, and pretended to give up booze for a bit.
So now you know!
Happy new year.
posted by Elizabeth at 12:34 PM
1 Comments:
LOL re bloated feasters.
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