Botox bonanza!

I am going to a TV launch party tonight where guests are invited to sample Botox.

There's nothing I especially fancy getting needled, but on the other hand - free Botox! Hmm, let's see. I could:

Have my whole face frozen into a mask of unsmiling grumpiness, so I fit in at work
Get my feet filled with the stuff so I can walk in heels
Remove traces of emotion and apply to become a contestant on 'Call My Bluff'
See if they'll zap my blinking mechanism so I can start staring competitions with freaks on the underground.
Remove every single line on my body and tell the Weekly World News that I recently hatched, fully formed, out of an egg
Inject all my sweat glands so I no longer perspire and can unnerve people in saunas

On the down side, a frozen mug may impair my ability to scoff free booze and nibbles, so perhaps not.

Then again, knowing my love of free stuff (my life mantra: If it's free, I'll have two), don't be surprised if you see me looking, well, unsurprised for a couple of months.