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Headlines I wish I had seen on the way to work this morning:

PHEW, WOT A SCORCHER!
Summer will be here by lunchtime

LIVING IN SUBURBIA?
Chessington to be moved to Zone 1

GO BACK TO BED
Workers sent home as government cancels Tuesday

BEZ: I'M GONNA BLOW THE LOT
I WON'T give up drugs and booze

Oh, hang on, that last one was in the Daily Star.