Back The Bid - Of France!*
THE STANDARD EVENING
September 26 2011
Queen Elizabeth II has expressed deeps regrets that the 2012 Olympic Games were not awarded to Paris, it was claimed last night.
The thin-lipped monarch admitted to shocked onlookers that London's botched efforts to prepare for the games were "a total shambles" and "well embarrassing."
She added that Paris would have staged a far superior show.
The 85-year-old, who has recently been critcised for heavy drinking, made comments about the impending games as she partied at London nightspot Red Cube.
"It's a right f**king nightmare," she told chums Dane Bowers and Anthony Costa.
"The 2012 Olympics is a cash-guzzling abyss of disaster, and we're all going down, I tell you.
"The whole thing is doing my head in. Why didn't we just let Paris win, like I said? Why? Why?"
The Queen was referring to controversial comments she made at a 2005 event, expressing a conviction that the games would go to the French capital. She stated at the time that there was a serious lack of support from Londoners.
However, the Parisian pitch was floored by a subsequent dramatic turn-around in public opinion in the London area, which was attributed to the introduction of a garishly-decorated tube train.
Impressed Olympic organisers named London as the 2012 host city in July 2005.
But the euphoria following the coup turned sour in 2007, as the company behind the Jubilee Line train's redecoration was subjected to lengthy investigation into its practices. Successful joint litigation was later brought by passenger groups and ASLEF, who accused the Haitian firm of using voodoo magic to win over cynical commuters.
The company claimed during the trial that Londoners were simply bedazzled by the bid committee's snazzy website, and a record-breaking advertising campaign that saw every lamp-post and billboard in the city bedecked with posters and banners.
However, this defence was dismissed by Judge John Laideeshair, who commented in his summing up: "The majority of the city's inhabitants may well be as thick as a bucket of mud.
"But it is preposterous to suggest that Londoners - who have already witnessed authorities struggling to stick up a big white tent and bung up a footie stadium - would have been fooled by some silly photoshop images of leotard-clad athletes glibly pinging over Tower Bridge, the Thames Barrier, and that stripy building that looks like a big c**k."
Her Royal Highness has been single-handedly project-managing the games since 2009, when the London Assembly and Labour government fled the country in shame after a series of embarrassing gaffes. Red-faced politicians absconded en masse to Acapulco when a sub-contractor working for a private firm subcontracted by a government-funded organisation leased itself back to itself, and accidentally bulldozed Newham.
*"Of France!' catchphrase shamelessly pilfered from dooce.com
September 26 2011
Queen Elizabeth II has expressed deeps regrets that the 2012 Olympic Games were not awarded to Paris, it was claimed last night.
The thin-lipped monarch admitted to shocked onlookers that London's botched efforts to prepare for the games were "a total shambles" and "well embarrassing."
She added that Paris would have staged a far superior show.
The 85-year-old, who has recently been critcised for heavy drinking, made comments about the impending games as she partied at London nightspot Red Cube.
"It's a right f**king nightmare," she told chums Dane Bowers and Anthony Costa.
"The 2012 Olympics is a cash-guzzling abyss of disaster, and we're all going down, I tell you.
"The whole thing is doing my head in. Why didn't we just let Paris win, like I said? Why? Why?"
The Queen was referring to controversial comments she made at a 2005 event, expressing a conviction that the games would go to the French capital. She stated at the time that there was a serious lack of support from Londoners.
However, the Parisian pitch was floored by a subsequent dramatic turn-around in public opinion in the London area, which was attributed to the introduction of a garishly-decorated tube train.
Impressed Olympic organisers named London as the 2012 host city in July 2005.
But the euphoria following the coup turned sour in 2007, as the company behind the Jubilee Line train's redecoration was subjected to lengthy investigation into its practices. Successful joint litigation was later brought by passenger groups and ASLEF, who accused the Haitian firm of using voodoo magic to win over cynical commuters.
The company claimed during the trial that Londoners were simply bedazzled by the bid committee's snazzy website, and a record-breaking advertising campaign that saw every lamp-post and billboard in the city bedecked with posters and banners.
However, this defence was dismissed by Judge John Laideeshair, who commented in his summing up: "The majority of the city's inhabitants may well be as thick as a bucket of mud.
"But it is preposterous to suggest that Londoners - who have already witnessed authorities struggling to stick up a big white tent and bung up a footie stadium - would have been fooled by some silly photoshop images of leotard-clad athletes glibly pinging over Tower Bridge, the Thames Barrier, and that stripy building that looks like a big c**k."
Her Royal Highness has been single-handedly project-managing the games since 2009, when the London Assembly and Labour government fled the country in shame after a series of embarrassing gaffes. Red-faced politicians absconded en masse to Acapulco when a sub-contractor working for a private firm subcontracted by a government-funded organisation leased itself back to itself, and accidentally bulldozed Newham.
*"Of France!' catchphrase shamelessly pilfered from dooce.com
posted by Elizabeth at 3:06 PM
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