When hairdressers attack

Celebrity hairdresser Daniel Galvin has been up in court pleading not guilty to assaulting his neighbour last summer.

We are hoping that the court reports will look something like this:

"It was awful," said attackee number one, "I was just sitting in my garden when Mr Galvin came running towards me and whacked me over the head with a pair of ceramic straighteners. Then he squirted some extra-smoothing serum into my eyes before pelting me with rollers. I was terrified.

"The next thing I knew, I was sporting a bouffant retro-mullet with Nick Rhodes highlights. Galvin was spinning me round and round in my deckchair, brandishing a huge mirror and screaming ' Is it alright at the back?'

"It was utterly traumatising. I spent at the next four days locked in the bathroom, smearing gel into my hair and crying."