Ref: Seriously, Coldplay?
Dear Amazon,
I read with interest the list of CDs and books recommended for me by you in the 'My Store' area of my Amazon account.
Usually, I would have already decided which items I was going to spunk up to £20 on this month. But after having over 500 random tracks unexpectedly turn up on my iPod, I was short on inspiration and so turned to your list.
Look, I understand that because I attempted to tackle my own ignorance by buying Great Expectations, I was bombarded with suggestions of GCSE level classic novels. And that as I am partial to a bit of dance music, you believed I would be interested in every remastered remix of every Global Underground album ever created.
But Jesus wept Amazon, I thought that after a relationship dating back several years, you would know me better than this. Coldplay? Do you seriously, hand on heart, honestly and truly believe that I would listen to Coldplay? I was under the impression that we had something of an understanding. This is clearly not the case, and quite frankly, I'm insulted. I may have bought Up All Night by Razorlight but this most certainly does not mean I would want to listen to X&Y.
And that wasn't the worst of it! What made you think I would even toy with the idea of so much as lingering on a radio station playing Keane, let alone purchase their Under The Iron Sea offering? I don't care if it only costs £7.76? God knows there is a vast and bewildering array of pop acts beginning with the letter 'K', but even I know that Keane are my least favourite of all those bands.
Maybe you're not entirely to blame. Perhaps if I'd thumped the Not Interested button more vehemently, we'd never have drifted so far apart.
But right now, I feel like I just don't know you anymore.
Yours sorrowfully,
Empty basket of Raynes Park
I read with interest the list of CDs and books recommended for me by you in the 'My Store' area of my Amazon account.
Usually, I would have already decided which items I was going to spunk up to £20 on this month. But after having over 500 random tracks unexpectedly turn up on my iPod, I was short on inspiration and so turned to your list.
Look, I understand that because I attempted to tackle my own ignorance by buying Great Expectations, I was bombarded with suggestions of GCSE level classic novels. And that as I am partial to a bit of dance music, you believed I would be interested in every remastered remix of every Global Underground album ever created.
But Jesus wept Amazon, I thought that after a relationship dating back several years, you would know me better than this. Coldplay? Do you seriously, hand on heart, honestly and truly believe that I would listen to Coldplay? I was under the impression that we had something of an understanding. This is clearly not the case, and quite frankly, I'm insulted. I may have bought Up All Night by Razorlight but this most certainly does not mean I would want to listen to X&Y.
And that wasn't the worst of it! What made you think I would even toy with the idea of so much as lingering on a radio station playing Keane, let alone purchase their Under The Iron Sea offering? I don't care if it only costs £7.76? God knows there is a vast and bewildering array of pop acts beginning with the letter 'K', but even I know that Keane are my least favourite of all those bands.
Maybe you're not entirely to blame. Perhaps if I'd thumped the Not Interested button more vehemently, we'd never have drifted so far apart.
But right now, I feel like I just don't know you anymore.
Yours sorrowfully,
Empty basket of Raynes Park
posted by Elizabeth at 5:15 PM
6 Comments:
Happy New Xmas. Belated but heartfelt.
Dear Empty basket of Raynes Park,
You bought a Razorlight album??? I am utterly disgusted in you. Each to their own and all, but fucking Razorlight are the epitomy of the crap, bland, think-we're-brilliant pop rock bollocks that is spreading like a disdease through the music industry.
Shocked and appalled,
Finsbury Park
Ha ha, just you wait until you turn 30. You'll be snapping up Vicar of Dibley DVDs and wearing cardis before you know what's hit you.
And Happy New Xmas, Spike.
Oops, I'm only 28 and I'm downloading the Vicar of Dibley 2006 Christmas Specials. Do I need help?
Yes you need help. The Vicar of Dibley is such deeply unfunny gash that downloading it at ANY age is unforgivable.
Shauno, I expected more from you ;o)
Still better than Razorlight
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