Merry Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
Binge drinking brought to me
Shame at the office party

On the second day of Christmas
A hangover brought me
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the third day of Christmas
Laziness brought me
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the forth day of Christmas
My flatmate brought to me
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the fifth day of Christmas
The last train brought to me
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the sixth day of Christmas
The nightbus gave to me
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the seventh day of Christmas
My doctor gave to me
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the eighth day of Christmas
Ocado brought to me
Eight tins of roses
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the ninth day of Christmas
The high street gave to me
Nine crackheads busking
Eight tins of roses
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the tenth day of Christmas
Pavement rage gave me
Ten rants-a-swearing
Nine crackheads busking
Eight tins of roses
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Panic bought for me
Eleven rush-bought vouchers
Ten rants-a-swearing
Nine crackheads busking
Eight tins of roses
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My mother brought to me
Twelve turkey helpings
Eleven rush-bought vouchers
Ten rants-a-swearing
Nine crackheads busking
Eight tins of roses
Seven lovely valium
Six chavs-a-spewing
Five lunging drunks
Four mince pies
No gifts bought
Two nurofen
And shame at the office party