Nerve-shattering nonsense

Why do people select ringtones that sound like a sonic interpretation of a nervous breakdown? Seriously, some of the many bone-judderingly hideous ring tones in my office are enough to turn your spine to jelly (the kind you get in pork pies, not the nice kind) and cause your skin to crawl off your flesh in order to hurl itself out of a nearby window.

And why do they turn them up SO LOUD? If you're not within answering distance of your phone, you don't need to know that it's ringing, do you? Bestest of all are the people whose phones phone them up three times to tell them that they have a message. Gah! Of course they have a message! They weren't there to answer the first time! Stupid, stupid people! Why do they persist in torturing me with their fuckwittery?

I think the problem here is old people. People who text in text speak because their kids do, but can't use predictive text. People who are probably a bit deaf. People who *slumps onto desk* think it is acceptable to have the Nokia theme as their ringtone. I KNOW Trigger Happy TV was a long time ago but HELLO? I'M IN THE OFFICE. NO, EVERYONE HATES ME.

Sigh.