Love/Hate

Rain in May - you are evil. I know this happens every year, but I had to put emergency tights on. 60 denier! FFS. Why do you have to turn the seas upside down every time I set foot outside? I'm typing in my coat, huddled over a cup of tea, with a hot dinner in my tummy, wearing soggy boots. In summer. Raise your muthaf*cking game, weather. Go and rain on the football or something.

Dark chocolate Bounty Bar- you were worth every calorie. Who cares if you have the highest calorie count of all the chocolate confectionery? You so know how to work it.

Football Mars Bars - It is not a "Believe", it is a Mars. I refuse to purchase another until the correct name is reinstated on the wrapper. Remember what happened with the Yorkie "not for girls" campaign? Yeah, well I STILL haven't bought one, and I never will.. The only good thing to come out of this whole sorry mess is you have FORCED me back into the arms of the very naughty dark chocolate Bounty.

Madonna - you're a twat. Go away, and take your Abba-leotarded camel-toe with you. It's embarrassing.