Excused

I overslept
My alarm didn't go off - I must have accidentally turned it off in the night
My alarm didn't go off - the battery died in the night
My alarm didn't go off - it is broken
My flatmate took my shower slot
My flatmate took my phone
Our boiler broke and we had no hot water
The washing machine flooded the kitchen
The tumble dryer wouldn't open and all my clothes were inside
I dropped my contact lens
I couldn't find my keys
I couldn't find my travel pass
My boyfriend locked me in his flat
I had to go back for my travel pass
The train was delayed
The train was cancelled
I have to go to the doctor
I have to go to the optician
I have to see a priest
Why oh why do you make me come here every day, I just want to stay in bed

(use in rotation for authenticity)