Ever so slightly crushed

I tried very hard to style my all-new, fan-f*cking-tastic hair this morning. I didn't use too much product, I dried it in sections, as per instructions. I studied the photographic evidence of said barnet at its finest hour, I solemnly and seriously set aside at least quadruple the maximum amount of time usually spent of coifing myself up of a morning. And it looks pretty good.

It may not be sleek, but it is subtly defined.

The front parting isn't what it should be, but I don't look the receding male members of my family.

But the Nicky Clarke Hairomatherapy wax is really making my nose tingle.

If you were being cruel, you could say it looks a little flat, and also maybe a touch lank.

And I look ever so slightly like Simon Le Bon.