Um... what's your favourite colour?

My colleague is having to suffer the geeky indignity of internet speed dating this evening. It is all in the name of work (no, she isn't on the game), and she is in need of questions to ask her selection of cyber-beaus (that just doesn't work, does it).

In my opinion, it's hard enough avoiding the f*ckwits one encounters in the wild, and I certainly wouldn't entertain the notion of deliberately laying myself open myself to several three-minute, quick-fire barrages of pre-meditated f*ckwittery of the highest order.



My very unhelpful question suggestions:

1) Would your ex-girlfriends describe you as any or all of the following:
a) Clingy
b) Possessive
c) Flatulent
d) Gay
e) Dim-witted
f) Emotionally retarded
g) Sexually dismal
h) Hygienically sub-normal
i) Incompetent/pathetic
j) Riddled with STDs

2) Are you interested in me as a person, or are you just hoping to cop off with a bird from speed dating in order to become the office/pub braggart for a few days?

3) Could you please desist from glancing at my bosom?

4) Why can't you get a girlfriend like a normal man?

Hers, at the moment, are limited to:

1) How much do you earn?
2) What is your perfect date?

(The answer to question 2 is 'dinner at Le Caprice'. Her answer to question 2 is 'being taken for dinner at Le Caprice'.)

Any further suggestions would be appreciated.